Ephesians 4:17-32 When you are Hot

When you are Hot

Ephesians 4:17 - 32
Most of you have probably hear everything I am going to say this morning and may not need it for yourself. I would suggest that you take notes anyway because you will come across a situation in which this material may be very helpful for you if it is even to help one other person some time in your life. I know that if I keep my message focused on the word of God there will be at least one good nugget for you today. Perhaps something I repeat will affect you as much as it has affected my spiritual growth.

I recently was convicted of the sin of anger in my life. I am not a wall puncher or a plate thrower but I am much more sophisticated in the way I release my anger. I can embarrass my wife or chew out my sons with some pretty clever snide remarks. Another speaker recently revealed that anger was a strong emotion and it is not an isolated emotion but often related to other emotions like lust, immorality, impurity or pride. When I realized the depth of sin that anger had I realized that I needed to deal with the anger that was infecting my soul. Anger stems from a lot of sources but often comes from frustration, injustice, imitation or humiliation.

Frustration fuels fury. (Repeat that 10 x fast) Anger can build up pressure like a Mt St Helen's which eventually exploded. It will explode destroying and even killing the spirit of people who are closest to us - often our family. A sequence of irritating events during a day or over a period of time can build up pressure until finally a relatively insignificant event can trigger off an eruption. Secret sins cause tension which adds to the equation and causes the fire to occur when least expected. Often our children or spouse do something unwittingly causing a tension filled parent to explode. Most people with a frustration type anger are not willing to admit to it's sinfulness. They can't figure out why people have a problem with them - they are open and honest and let it all out and then get on with life. They don't know why others avoid them and they can't get along with others.

They make up the excuse that if others didn't bother them there would not be any problem at all. They do not recognize that the people around them live in fear not knowing when they will lash out either physically or verbally and devastate them again.

Some people are addicted to anger . Many times they will ignore negative behaviour in family members and then the next time they will explode. This inconsistency causes frustration and hurt feelings. What are some of the symptoms of anger? Angry people often get red in the face. Their heart is pumping harder. They have an adrenalin rush. They feel more powerful and in control of others when they get angry. Others pay attention to them. So some people actually have a mental imbalance in which they feel that they have to be the one in control and are willing to go to any length to get attention and control no matter how destructive their actions are. That is an addiction.

James Huberty was described by his wife and neighbours as "always angry" Perhaps it started when his mother abandoned him as a child. It was fuelled by every misfortune in his life until one day 20 others were killed when he stepped into a McDonalds in San Diego California with a couple guns blazing. The killing only stopped when a police marksman killed James with a well placed shot. Anger which is not dealt with is dangerous because it can lie under the surface and one day explode hurting anyone in its path.

I can remember one day in Bible school someone came up to me and explained that a play practice I was responsible for had to be cancelled for this other person's activity. I can still feel the rush of anger, the blood flushing my face and a certain confusion in my mind as to why I was getting angry. Fortunately I was able to have sufficient self-control so as to remain more or less calm but I know I could have erupted with rage if God's spirit had not been in control. The frustration of having to re-schedule and to be pre-empted caused anger to well up within me.

Do you get angry when you are frustrated by someone travelling the speed limit when you are late for an appointment? I suppose that you were just praising God and pouring out blessings on that God-fearing individual who was seeking to observe the laws of the land and convicting you by his/her speed that perhaps you were sinning with your excessive speed. As you pulled around to pass you smiled and said a "Thank-you" for developing such wonderful character qualities in you as patience and kindness and obedience. Most of us are angry without a cause and it shows us that we need change in our lives. There is a way that seems right unto a man but the end there of is death. We can never justify or excuse our anger no matter how frustrated we get.

A second cause of anger is a feeling of injustice. "Any time our rights or imagined rights are violated, we are in danger of selfish explosion of retaliation." Genesis 27:41 and following tells us of the story of Esau's anger for his brother Jacob. Even though Esau had sold his birthright he still felt that he was entitles to his father's special blessing. Jacob received this special blessing from his father and Esau wanted to kill his brother because of it. With Jacob gone he would receive that blessing. On his mom's suggestion Jacob left for a few years until Esau's fury had time to subside. 20 years later, Esau came to meet Jacob with a band of soldiers. Rebekah was wrong about that anger going away. Jacob had sent gifts on ahead but Esau did not seem to see these but he went straight for Jacob. I believe it was the prayer, wrestling with God and a humbling attitude that brought restoration to their relationship. When we believe that we have been overlooked for a promotion or raise at work do we get angry because of a feeling of injustice? Have you worked hard at trying to get a business going and failed - everyone else was cheating or dishonest to get ahead. Did you ever feel that sense of injustice or that life was not fair? Hidden resentment and a sense of failure shortens the fuse.

A third cause of anger is humiliation. "A gossip separates close friends." Proverbs 16:28 Gossip is meant to hurt not heal. Humiliate not help. Humiliation leads to anger. Sometimes this anger is explosive and sometimes it is just seething quietness. Anger is a response to a denial by others of our significance. When others get served ahead of you at a restaurant have you ever gotten angry? Have you ever thought, "I was here first, I expect to be served first because I am important!" Ever feel that heart pounding and your fists start to tighten? Do you feel like knocking this intruder for a loop? These are common feeling but WRONG. I know that this is a cause of anger with which I have struggled. A fourth source of anger is imitation. Proverbs 22:24, 25. - Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared." Many young women have dated and had their hearts won by a considerate, loving gentleman and found themselves married to an angry dragon after a couple of years.

The sins of the parents are often visited to the 3rd and 4th generation. When only one member of the family is angry it often leads others to yell, scream, fight, stir up dissension or cause fierce arguments.

Often a spouse will marry a bitter or angry person in direct disobedience to scripture but will think that he/she will be able to reform the partner. When they are unsuccessful and continue to be abused they get frustrated and seek to get even.

The response to an angry husband may not be open fighting but the anger will come out in different ways. A wife may appear to be a doormat because resentment in her does not lead to open rebellion and fighting but rather a messy house, sad countenance, gossip, sexual unresponsiveness and backbiting comments which fuel the fire in her spouse.

Thus we often eventually imitate others who are angry whether at home, school or work if we continually associate with that kind of person. When we get angry for all the wrong reasons: frustration, injustice, humiliation or wrong association, God's real purpose for anger is destroyed.

God gave us anger for positive reasons but most have distorted God's original intention. God wants us to get angry about exploitation - whether it is drugs, sex, or unfair employment practices. God wants is to be angry about selfishness, pride, drunkenness, abandoning of spouses and children, abuse of others, abortion or killing of helpless individuals. Anger is a part of God's motivation to action. We need to have something to move us from our apathy but our anger needs always to be controlled and focused on actions or philosophies not personalities. Another word for truly focused anger is meekness. Moses was called the meekest man on earth but he was not able to go into the promised land because of his anger. Controlling our anger comes from patience, love and understanding. With a push of a button a car fender is stamped out. Tremendous pressure is put on a piece of metal to shape it instantly. God can put a lot more pressure on a situation to change it than we can. The button we can press is the prayer of petition and intercession. How can we change when we have the wrong kind of anger?

We need to retrain our brain. We need to develop self-control and learn ways to defuse tension. Some tension is caused by other sins. To get rid of this tension we need to confess our sin and reclaim the ground that we have given to Satan. If tension comes from external situations we need to learn to sit back, take a deep breath and seek to understand the causes of the tension in others.

Everyone can control his/her anger. Have you ever heard 2 people fighting and then the phone rings? Instead of a volcanic voice of a moment ago, there is a sweet nightingale voice when answering on the phone. Pure hypocrisy but a great illustration of control.

Romans 12:20, 21 tells us that we are to live at peace with all men a far as it depends on us. One excellent suggestion is to refuse to fight or get angry when an angry situation arises. If you are the cause of the anger, confess your transgression. If you are not a fault, gently explain that you cannot participate in the discussion at this time with emotions out of control and go and pray.

If you recognize that you have attempted to control others with snide remarks, sarcasm, condemning others, name calling, raising your voice or using an angry look, you need to work on realizing that anger is the wrong form of control. Aesop told a tale of the wind and the sun. The wind quarreled with the sun as to which was stronger. The wind said, " I'll prove I am. See the old man down there with a coat? I bet I can get his coat off him quicker than you can."

The sun went behind a cloud, and the wind blew until it was almost a tornado, but the harder it blew, the tighter the old man clutched his coat.

Finally, the wind calmed down and gave up. The sun came out from behind the clouds and smiled kindly on the old man. Presently, he mopped his brow and pulled off his coat. The sun then told the wind that gentleness and friendliness were always stronger than fury and abusive power.

Remember that Proverbs 29:11 says " A fool gives full vent to anger but a wise man keeps himself under control.

The most powerful way to overcome anger is to come under some God ordained authority requiring accountability - the church, state, employers or other family members. If someone's rage becomes so violent that he/she hits or verbally abuse family members, the state courts will step in and remove that person from his/her loved ones until that person can control his/her rage.

If you know you have a problem, you are to go to the church leaders and ask for help, put yourself under their leadership and guidance and be accountable to them to make the proper changes in your life with God's help. Hebrews 13:17 says, " Submit to your leaders and obey them for they keep watch over your soul as those who will give an account.

Some of us have a painful responsibility after this service is over. Perhaps you have recognize that you have a problem with anger. God requires that we confess our sin first to Him and then we are to go to others, that brother or sister, wife or child, fellow worker or church member and ask for forgiveness. If we humble ourselves, God will be able to bless us but if we are too proud to admit that we have had a wrongful spirit then God will judge and punish us.

Perhaps you know of someone who has a problem with anger. It is your spiritual responsibility to go to that person and encourage him or her to resolve the anger problem so that the body of Christ may be healed and the world would be able to say, " Oh how they love one another." My prayer is that we will have loving relationships in our homes, our workplace, and our church.

I will remain here at the front of the church after the service. If you sense the spirit at work in your life and would like to come forward after the service and pray together I will be available.

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July 7, 1996 - Leamington MB Church