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Patience

Ephesians 4:2c

Lack of the quality we are going to examine today gets most people into trouble. Paul was urging the Ephesians to be patient. He knew what destruction would come to those who lacked patience. There are many problems that we get ourselves into when we do not have patience. I again preface these words today to say that even though I have to continually work at perfecting patience, I feel compelled by God to share these thoughts with you as one who is on a journey with you, striving for God's best in my life.

There are three problem areas in today's society that I would like to explore that are a direct result of impatience. There are other factors involved in these problems but certainly lacking patience is an important factor in each of these. But let us first get a clearer understanding of this virtue.

The term that is used in the original Greek is a compound word made up of the two words, (makros) long and (thumos) strong passion or tumultuous welling up of the whole spirit. Thumos is a mighty emotion which seizes and moves the whole inner man. This is sometimes translated long suffering. For some people patience is suffering because we are an instant society. We cannot wait.

This word here means a patient holding out under trial; a long protracted restraint of the soul from yielding to passion, especially the passion of anger. There is another word used for patience hupomone. Makprothumia is exercised toward persons; hupomone toward things. The former is ascribed to God as an attribute, the later never. God shows patience to sinful man. God is patient, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9. If God is that patient should we too not seek to be patient especially to those who wrong us? Patience is the spirit which bears insult and injury without bitterness and without complaint. It is the spirit which can suffer unpleasant people with graciousness and fools without irritation. ( p.139 Barclay)

Chrysostom, one of the early church leaders, defined patience as the quality which has the power to revenge but never does so. We might take the picture of a little pup barking and nipping at a huge Doberman Pincher. The Doberman could take that pup and with one snap of his mouth, kill the pup instantly. The Doberman cannot be bothered by this silly pup because that would be below his dignity. So when we are faced with trials we should have patience because we as believers are above arguing and fighting. We have more dignity and power than to allow stupidity and anger to drag us down into the pit.

How much patience do you have now? Do you have as much patience as you would really like to have? How can we develop more patience? The difficult part of patience is that the development of patience is painful. Thomas a Kempis was a devout Christian who live from 1380 to 1471. He wrote, "The truly patient man minds not by whom he is exercised, whether by his superior, by one of his equals or by an inferior; whether by a good and holy man; or by one that is perverse and unworthy. But indifferently from every creature, how ever much or who often anything adverse happens, he takes it all thankfully as from the hands of God, and esteems it a great gain. For with God it is impossible that anything however small, if only it be suffered for God's sake should pass without its reward." p. 169 When we have difficulties, do we get angry, swear or get frustrated and discouraged. Thomas a Kempis suggests that we instead should realize the great gain that will come from the trial or difficulty that we are facing. When we have such a positive attitude in the face of difficulties, they will show up as challenges to be conquered not obstacles that defeat us. When we have this kind of attitude we will have a clear mind to carefully come to the proper conclusions and actions which will bring God glory and to us a great reward. Some of us might have a hard time accepting the difficulties which come our way. We do not think that we can patiently endure the trials but we find an easy way out and we become losers.

Job was a wealthy man who faced an attack by Satan to try to get him to curse God. Everything Job had including his children where all taken from him. Satan attacked Job but giving him very painful boils. Then Job's friends came and questioned Job's integrity. In his pain and agony Job still did not loose his cool and get angry. He did not question God, and God spoke to him and then blessed Job twice as much after as before. In this story we see the blessings that come as a result of patient endurance.

Lack of patience comes from our thinking that we should have something right now. We are not a people that understand "delayed gratification". Our impatience gets us in trouble in our relationships and also financially. A bit of a materialistic mind set and impatience is a recipe for disaster. Materialism is a desire to have things or experiences and focuses on our desires not our basic needs.

Many couples who end up fighting and splitting up do so because of financial problems. Often credit cards are a major part of the problem. We are unwilling to wait until we have the money so we put the purchase item on credit. I am told that the average Canadian householder has 3 major credit cards. Some families get deep into debt by using their cards recklessly. If we not make any payments on a credit card purchase it would only take 4 years to double the value of that purchase. Not a very good deal. If you buy a coat for $100 and only pay the minimum balance on your credit card, it would probably cost you at least $150 - $200 before it is paid off. So much for finding a good sale.

If you are having difficulty with credit cards, you need to cut them up and get rid of them until you are able to get control of your spending habits. If you do not pay up your credit card balance every month then you potentially have a financial problem. It would be a good idea to see a financial counselor. I can recommend some excellent financial counselors in our church which do not charge a fee to help people in financial problems. We need to be patient and save enough money for our purchases and follow a budget to be good stewards of what God has entrusted to us.

The second area which is affected by our impatience is anger. In today's society there is a major problem with anger. Anger is a result of people believing that their expectations or rights are being violated. We are not patiently working out a solution that will keep our emotions in check.

Before the days of clothes driers a woman did a big washing and hung the clothes out to dry. The line broke and she had to do the washing over again. This time she spread the clothes out on the grass to dry. A dog with muddy feet came along and walked all over the nice clean, white clothes. The woman did not get angry or lose her temper. She exclaimed, " Isn't it strange, the dog did not miss one single one." I think the devil sent the dog to test the woman's character. It looks like she passed the test. She did not get angry even though she had to do the same laundry by hand 3 times. How do we stand up when our patience is tested? Do we get angry, do we yell, or hit others or even things? People have been so impatient that they have kicked their car or appliance and not only brought pain to themselves but done nothing to solve the real problem.

The third area that is destroying many people our society is the inability to wait for sexual happiness. God has given us wonderful sensors in our body to enjoy sexual pleasure. He also commanded that we do not enjoy these pleasures outside of a marriage relationship. ( 1 Cor 7:2) I have seen so many relationships destruct when God's ways were not followed. With the destruction of relationships comes pain, suffering and lack of trust. If we would obey God's ways we would not experience God's chastisement (I Cor 10:8, Jude 1:7) 1Th 4:3 says, " It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;". Here the word used is for sexual relations before the wedding ceremony. We have many places in the bible that speaks of the sin of adultery. That is having a sexual relationship with someone who is married. God's punishment for that was death. God hated this so much that He did not want anyone to do it so he put a very high price on those who defiled themselves in this way. Since our society has turned its back on God and encourages sexuality in any context, God will turn from blessing those that disobey. God will allow destruction in relationships, lack of fulfillment, fighting, sleeplessness, anger, bitterness and even suicidal thoughts to overtake those who are sexually impure. The good news is that God forgives those who genuinely repent. If you have disregarded God's standard and impatiently entered into a sinful relationship, God will forgive you and cleanse you and restore you. The sad part is that our children will probably be even more promiscuous than we are and their lives will face even more turmoil and pain. We do not want that for our children do we? We want wholesomeness, purity, genuine love, peace and joy for them. If we are living in sin, can we expect our children to do any different? Ask God to forgive you and change your heart. Repent and help others caught in destructive relationships to follow God's ways and you will find renewed joy. You will find peace and contentment. You will develop patience and purity so that when death comes unexpectedly you will be ready to meet God and be confident of entering into His presence forever. We will not fear death and hell.

Patience is a noble quality that brings peace and contentment. It can be a driving force in our lives as we channel our emotions to overcome barriers to get to the ultimate goal instead of short circuiting the process with impatience and arriving at something much less than God's best. May God direct our lives so that we will encourage each other to love and patience.

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Lao Christian Fellowship
Nov 10,2002