God’s Design for MarriageGenerous Love

A young man was really hungry for some fruit so he went to the local grocery store and spied some beautiful apples. He took a bite out of an apple and then walked out of the store without paying for it. A couple days later he was hungry for fruit again and went to a grocery store, found a beautiful apple and took a bite but it wasn’t sweet enough so he put it down near the bottom of the bin and walked out of the store without paying for it. A week later he went back and looked for the apple that he had bitten into and found it but by now it was damaged and no one wanted to buy it. Finally he found one he really liked and went and paid for it. This was a nice shiny apple that no one had touched.

Which apple do you think you would like? A nice beautiful whole apple or one that has been damaged. Which do you want to be?

Today, I want to explain God’s design for marriage. That is not so say that if you are widowed, not married, that you are not living God’s ideal. In fact Paul in 1 Co 7:8. says,”To the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.” Others have gone through the painful process of marriage separation or divorce. We want to bring wholeness to you and not pain.

Others think they are married but have not followed God’s design so their relationship is unrighteous and insecure. I don’t want anyone who is not living God’s ideal to feel I am attacking them but we want to look at scripture to realize what God’s original intent was so you can bring your life in alignment with God and enjoy His blessings. I am sure that you would all want trust, security, joy, peace, happiness and love to permeate the most intimate of relationships in your family. That can only happen when we follow God’s design. To follow that design we need to know what it is and that is the purpose of this morning’s message. We need to look at scripture to understand God’s design and not the world and current teachings in our schools.

Satan always has a counterfeit for everything God designed as beautiful. This counterfeit is being taught in our schools and society and that is why we as a church need to address this issue.

From our passages we read we find 6 important points

1. God created Male and Female in His image. He created a helper for Adam by creating Eve.

2. God wants people to populate the earth and manage it.

3. The man and woman are to leave their parents and create their own home.

4. He designed a way that they would bond and become one flesh

5. The marriage God designed was that one male and one female to live together until they die.

6. Marriage is to create a secure relationship that will reflect the image of God and the selfless relationship of Christ and the Church.

1. God created Male and Female in His image. He created a helper for Adam by creating Eve.

Our creator God designed this pattern of marriage for society not just Christians but for all of His creation. I believe, along with many true scientists, that God created this universe and any theories to the contrary are not truly scientific and believable. We learned in school that the scientific method must be observable and repeatable. How many of you have seen a monkey turn into a person or a frog into a dinosaur. These ideas are conjecture, hypotheses which cannot be proven. God shows us His intent for all His creation. People have sought to rebel against God and become their own master and in the process they have rejected God and His ways.

Many voices in secular society are saying that “one man married to one woman for life is old fashioned and irrelevant to modern society. We can define marriage any way we want.” Others say living together is OK. When we don’t understand what God designed for all of His creation, we might say that is OK. But it is NOT OK. These voices are destroying the lives of innocent children and young people who have not been taught right from wrong. Just because something is legal in this country does not make it right or moral. ( eg. Abortion) Our Government has passed many bills which legalize sin and destruction of it’s own citizens. Today, without a moral compass, lawmakers are looking at what is expedient, less expensive or a source of government revenue and not what is virtuous. Instead of attacking problems at their root, they are trying to put on bandaids on a cancer instead of treating the cancer.

Another reason to make sure that we understand the Genesis account is to recognize that God created Male and Female and nothing in between. The anti-God crowd is trying to confuse everyone by denying their DNA and saying there are all kinds of gender options. This again is an attack against God and His creation. There are two gender options and male and female. Also there is no gene that cause people to desire their own sex. Those are lies and myths. DNA, hormones and a chromosome that comes from a man will determine the outcome of who we are from the point of conception.

God created Adam initially and then he created a helper for him. We need to keep that in perspective. God began by creating Adam. He gave him a responsibility to care and manage the earth. (Gen 1:28) Adam set to work learning about his world and naming and spending time with God’s created animals. Gen 2:18 says that in all the animals God had created, there was no soul mate for Adam. It was important to God that people would not be alone. God wants us to have friends and companions.

God created a helper for Adam to compliment him. He took a part from his side so that they could experience togetherness. As has often been observed, she was not taken from Adam’s head to rule over him, nor from his feet, that he should step on her, but she was taken from his side so that he would protect her and keep her close to his heart. (Bible.org) The husband needs a wife and the wife needs her husband to work together. Although God gave the responsibility to man to lead the family He gave the great responsibility to the wife to bring life into a home.

Both male and female are made in God’s image. We are not talking about a physical image. We are talking about the essence of God. The image of God that is reflected in His love, His kindness, His sacrifice, His purity, truth, perfection, and holiness. Since God’s image is sacred, we should also view our spouse in a holy way. We should never, never tarnish that image. We should never deride, belittle or call anyone names. Calling someone a dummy, idiot, crazy, or any other negative name would be like calling God that, because we are made in God’s image and God didn’t make anyone like that. Instead we care to encourage one another by telling them they are precious, holy, god-like, cherished, wonderful or any of your pet names that reflect the true beauty of what God created.

We need to care for those people that God has put into our lives. Children live up to what they believe that they are and if they are given negative names they begin to act those names out. Be careful what you say and the way you treat those that are made in God’s image.

2. God wants people to populate the earth and manage it.

Marriage is for a husband and wife to become one flesh. That is emotional, spiritual, and physical bonds. The closer the bond the more exciting and rewarding it is. The looser the bond the less fulfilling it is. God has created chemicals to be released in the brain when there is togetherness - adrenalin, serotonin and dopamine, testosterone, and oxytocin and there is more blood flowing through your body to bring oxygen and energy throughout your body.

Evolution removes the creator and author of marriage so that now you can have any kind of relationship that society thinks is OK. Even if there is scientific evidence that certain relationships are dangerous and unhealthy, if society says it is OK then evolution will say it is OK. There is no standard or absolute and often there is no scientific evidence for the conjectures (make up theories) that people make who want to remove God from His creative position and coming judgment. Evolutionists claim that since we are just animals trying to survive, any kind of relationship that helps to that end is OK. There is no moral standard. Society has twisted the definition of marriage. In one generation mankind would be extinct if marriage was never between a man and a woman. That in itself tells us that it is not natural nor acceptable and against God’s command to be fruitful and increase.

3. The man and woman are to leave their parents and create their own home.

Genesis 2:24 tells us that a man must leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Jesus renewed this idea when He said, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matt. 19:6). The husband and wife are the primary focus not the parent child relationship. Just like the umbilical cord must be cut for the child to leave the direct nurture of the mother so the apron strings must be cut so that the man can focus on his wife first and then as God allows, his children.

God said that a man should cleave to his wife. Not his wives. Monogamy is the God’s design. When you are married you focus on your spouse. You never allow anyone else to become your dream, not even in your fantasies. That builds walls, jealousy, creates fights and destroys your relationship. Unity of a husband and wife brings the witness of God’s great design to the world.

If a mother’s focus is on her children rather than her husband the children can’t be expected to have a healthy marriage because mom is always trying to control the children after they are married. You see, God designed for a person to get their emotional needs met through their parents initially and not the other way around which often happens when a parent gets depressed. When parents depend on their children instead of raising children to become independent they are showing selfishness rather than generosity. Parents are to bring up their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. When children become mature they move from dependent, to independent, to interdependent.

4. God designed a way that married couples would bond and become one flesh

The marriage should be so glued together that it never comes apart. We should be using super glue to keep husbands and wives together. (No kids don’t try this on your dad and mom.) How would you like it if a mechanic figured that he didn’t need to put all the bolts into an engine when he fixes it. Like the guy who tried to fix his car and had enough parts left over to make a motorcycle. They both didn’t work. So it is when a husband or wife thinks the marriage will work if it is only firing on 2 cylinders out of 8.

5. The marriage God designed was that one male and one female to live together until they die.

Marriage is a covenant not a contract. In a contract if one party does not keep up their side of the contract, there are penalties and then if those don’t work then the contract is null and void for the other party. A covenant is never breakable. Undivided agape love with complete commitment is what is key in a marriage covenant.

In Malachi 2:10 - 15, marriage is described as is a holy covenant before God.
10 Do we not all have one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our ancestors by being unfaithful to one another?
11 Judah has been unfaithful. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the Lord loves by marrying women who worship a foreign god. 12 As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may the Lord remove him from the tents of Jacob—even though he brings an offering to the Lord Almighty.
13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because He no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.

6. Marriage is to create a secure relationship that will reflect the image of God and the selfless relationship of Christ and the Church.

God’s design for marriage is the gold standard. Anything else is a sham, a falsehood and has all kinds of damage and problems in the long term. Things that the world has called marriage do not work and rather destroy people and society.

Satan has a counterfeit. People may lust after all the 4.2 million inappropriate sites on the internet. Do you realize that no computer ever hugged you back? It can’t. It’s a fake. There are great actors that draw you in to think people enjoy themselves. It can make your adrenalin, serotonin, testosterone, and oxytocin deceive you with sense of excitement but it will never fulfill you. God designed a wife to fulfill a husband. God designed a husband to fulfill a wife. When a person goes to the internet to find gratification, they do everything the opposite of what God has designed. Unfortunately many men have been damaged and have blocked their hearts so that they can’t love their wife the way God designed. Our goal as a church should be to seek to help those who are struggling to win the battle against lust of the flesh and create pure wholesome marriages.

A husband is to nurture, care for, agape - unconditional, unselfish love, and purify his wife. Intimacy involves Commitment and Love, Respect and Honour, Openness and Communication, Appreciation and Gratitude, Submission and Cleansing. (Ephesians 5: 22 - 32)

Society has listened to the world and the world has warped their thinking but failed to change hearts for the good. Tolerance and pity have been substituted for love and care. Don’t believe the lies that those trapped in Satan’s deception are trying to make popular. God gave us the Bible not to keep us in bondage to an old patriarchal system but to free us to love and care for each other. Jesus continues to work miracles where people have been enslaved by the evil one, bringing healing to people’s hearts and lives.

If you’re single, but desire to be married, God’s Word to you is, Be growing in godliness and purity and pray and look for a mate who is committed to do the same. Be a whole apple. When the apple has had a bite, we as the body of Christ are to lovingly bring healing and restoration. May God give us strong healthy relationships and marriages.

Genesis 1: 26 - 28; Genesis 2: 15, 18, 21 - 24; Matthew 19:4-6

February 5, 2017, LEMC

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